Spring's flowers wilt and the trees turn into spindly white things.
He walks soundlessly to the porch while I press my fingers to the window.
Frost is everywhere.
His breath is now on the other side of the glass pane, his hands mold mine.
Stippling cold races throughout the house.
His face is devoid of emotion, such an honestly cruel one.
He whispers the words I long to hear, the ones I loathe.
The glass shatters and his hands are on my throat and I
w a k e u p
I'm pretty sure I had a dream like this one sometime. I was making my coffee and looking out the window when I remembered it.
If you've got the time, I'd love for you to comment how you felt when reading this. Were there pleasant ''oh that's creepy but I don't mind too much'' chills, or was it just ''meh''? It'll really help me improve. :)
This is really good! I'll admit it is a little creepy, but you paint a beautiful picture here. I did get a few "this is kinda creepy" chills while reading it, but they were good chills. You know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteI just posted something similar on my blog about a Thief... I was wondering if mine was too morbid? What do you think?
-- Rebecca at The Silver Flute
OOH I LIKE THIS.
ReplyDeleteEerie and creepy, in the best possible way. Lovely piece of writing, Madeline!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely beautiful! It's like a dark fantasy, which I LOVE. :)
ReplyDelete