Letters from Stabby {I am sorry, I truly am}

Some of you might have heard of Stabby, the obnoxious-ly ''funny'' unicorn..... if you haven't, check out his interview by Storyteller on Dragonmaster. For more, Stabby {and I} also guest posted here:
C-L-I-C-K ON IT! CLLLLIIIIICCCCKKKK!

As you see, Stabby is one to be weary of. :p But for blogging reasons in the future you have to get to know him. So, enjoy his letters.

~Madeline {I write some of Stabby's letters and the rest he writes himself. Please excuse misspelling or grammar on his part.}



dear readers,

hello. my name is stabby {the awesome and manly unicorn of fiery death}. in case you are mistaking me with that unicorn above, i excuse you. such a small and girly unicorn should be pitied, but you shod know: i am much handsomer.
madeline told me i had to post. isn't that horrible? she tells me i'm a unicorn of rank [forty-two, the unicorn head laburbery rode in the war of the magical unicorns] but she strips me of my dignity and makes me type on those little things you call keyboards anyway. the shame of it all.

madeline told me to include one of my letters to my chipmunk cousins. i think she finds those expessioually awesome since i lick them with my magical glitter unicorn spit to make it seal.

stabby the awesome and manly unicorn of fiery death


***

dear chipmunks,

how is bertha one doing? did the oldest, bertha too fall out yet? you told me she was going to any second now. stupid lettle thing.
madeline told me you might be offended at the above. btw, it was mint as a compliment.
i've incased five more coins. madeline's ''toy'', that little red ''elmo'' keeps stealing my coins, or i would have given you celestive bronze. don't fear, i'll get that little red midget some day. and when i do, i'll send you the skin to use as blankets for the little ones.
madeline baked a pie today. incase you where wondering, today i ete too tacos, one apple, a whole bunch of hay {i admit, i have lost my dignity while being in this uncivilized area madeline calls house.}, and madeline's bed frame. she attempted to punch me groom my soft silvery white fur while proclaiming: ''your stabbiness''. she simply ''adores'' me {in a form of punching, kicking, and hiding pies}.
dora's on. i wouldn't have left you for anything but my beautiful dora. please excuse me.

stabby the awesome and manly unicorn of fiery death

***

The authors of ''Letters from Stabby {I am sorry, I truly am}'':

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Madeline simply refuses to believe her fiction character, Stabby, does not exist. With a warm heart but strict ideas, Madeline takes care of Stabby. {However, she still does regret the fact she decided to take care of Stabby until his owner, Alissa, could retrieve him}

Stabby is just absurd. There's nothing really to tell you about him except that if you ever see him STAY AWAY {he's addicted to human hair. Yes, Madeline is trying to cure him of this illness}.

P.S. Picture is from Pinterest.